Band Camp Shenanigans
by Cyrus Windfall
Summary: Zelda goes marching band: complete with band drama. Already odd characters take a turn for the worse. Laid-back Drum Majors, strange directors, and lots of work. Rated T for some language and situations. "This one time, at band camp..."
1. Chapter 1

So, here's my idea**…**

**Directors**:

Dr. Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule, Mr. Jonathan Linebeck

**Drum Majors: **

Senior Drum Major- Link Kokiri (He has no confirmed last name, so I'll borrow this)

Senior Asst. Drum Major- Midna Twili (Again, not creative but I don't want to make it something ridiculous)

Junior Assistant Drum Majors- Din, Farore, and Nayru

**Section Leaders**

Darmani- Drumline

Macau- Pit

Nabooru-Colorgaurd

Saria-Flutes

Ruto-Clarinets

Ganondorf-Trumpets

Ralph (from Oracle of Ages)-Saxophones

Impa-Mellophones (French horns)

Zant-Trombones

Ilia-Euphoniums

Darunia-the best instrument (Sousaphones!)

Zelda-Band Management

I've got ideas for individual events for a few days of band camp as well. Review and feel free to send in some ideas for more interesting days, as well as any and all marching band stories you have!


	2. OC's Needed!

Name: Cyrus Windfall

Age: 18

Grade: Senior

Instrument in Band: Tuba

Basic Appearance: About 6' tall, 230 pounds, slightly muscular, white, and a little chubby. Blue-green eyes, curly brown hair, with a matching beard approx. 2 inches long.

Typical clothing: T-shirts with heavy metal band logos, jeans, marching shoes, and rectangular glasses.

Basic personality: Cheerful and hardworking, with strong convictions and no intent of holding back his opinions. Prefers to be around people and likes to goof off. Loyal to a fault.

Favorite sport and team (college/professional): Basketball (University of Kansas/NA)

Football (University of Kansas/Kansas City Chiefs)

Favorite Band/Musical Group: Demon Hunter

Other Notes: One of Darunia's best friends since freshman year. Smokes a little pot and a lot of cigarettes off school grounds. Reasonably intelligent, but prefers to keep things simple.

Any other information is appreciated, because it helps me try to properly use your characters. Backstories are also appreciated, but please make them brief, because I'm not good with heavy amounts of information at once.

Thank you!

Sincerely,

Cyrus Windfall


	3. The Meeting

Early on a Saturday morning, just after eight, a small group milled about outside their high school, together for one purpose, but many thoughts on how to accomplish their goal. One thought was shared, however, and a few voiced this rather loudly.

"Dear goddesses, why are we up so fucking early?" Macau whined loudly. "It's barely eight. And it's a SATURDAY!"

Darmani seemed to agree. "Bro, you're just gonna have to deal like the rest of us. We've got to be ready for the freshmen this afternoon."

By now, the group began to actually mass together on the lawn of Park Hill South, forming some sort of shape that vaguely resembled a circle. People continued to trickle in, greeting each other, shooting glares, and talking casually as they waited for the meeting to start. At half past eight, they started murmuring to each other about the last person they were waiting on. After all, he'd called the meeting, so why wasn't he here?

Said person of interest arrived right as the muttering reached its peak. A dirty forest-green Chevy Impala came roaring down the street. The driver parked haphazardly, narrowly missing the other students' cars. Getting out of the car, the driver yawned and stretched, shaking his shaggy blonde hair and looking at the crowd. A look of alarm passed his face and he sprinted over to the circle, apologizing to his directors.

"I thought you'd never make it," Midna told him sarcastically, her mouthing twitching into her trademark smirk. "You're late, Mr. Senior Drum Major."

Dr. Hyrule shook his head. "What's you're excuse THIS time, Link?"

Said tardy drum major shrugged, embarrassed. "My clock broke last night. I thought it was still 7:30." Link's eyes showed clear signs of sheepishness, despite the nonchalant attitude. "So, if I may, can we start this meeting and get everyone home early?" Several cheers from the students greeted his question.

"Dr. Hyrule and Mr. Linebeck, I just wanted to say thanks for once again picking a great show. The theme makes for some…interesting pictures." The directors nodded their acceptance of the praise.

"Let's take attendance," he added. "Flutes?"

"Here," Saria called.

"Clarinets?"

"Here!" Ruto said perkily.

"Trumpets?"

"Over here, fairy boy," Ganondorf smirked. Ignoring the reference to an old band joke he'd rather not recall, Link continued down his mental list.

"Sax?" Link called.

"Here!" Ralph's hand shot up, almost hitting a now-annoyed Farore.

"'Bones?"

"Here," Zant called lazily, not even sitting up in the grass.

"Euphs?"

"Present!" Ilia called.

"Frumpets?" Link tried to keep a straight face. He failed.

"Mellophones, Link," Impa replied sternly.

"Tubas?"

"Present," rumbled Darunia.

"Drum line?" Darmani simply raised his hand.

"Pit?" Macau just strummed a chord on his guitar.

"And guard?"

Instead of an answer, Link was startled by a yelp, followed by a sharp smack. Link winced as he realized what had happened. This was about to get very, very loud.

"You pervert! Don't touch me!" Nabooru screamed at a very guilty Ganondorf. He was flat on his back, a large, red, hand-shaped mark prominent on the left side of his face. Ganondorf merely grinned his guilty smile, but before he could respond, Dr. Hyrule decided to clear the situation.

"Ganondorf, that's enough. We've business to attend to, but don't believe for a second that you've gotten away with anything." Dr. Hyrule scolded. "Nabooru, why don't you come sit by Saria? I'm sure she's less eager to invade your personal space."

Saria immediately moved aside and let a still seething Nabooru sit beside her. As she walked by, Link distinctly heard the words: "Color guard is not the band's sluts…" Link rubbed his temples, trying to get rid of an already building headache. He decided some exercise was in order.

Standing up, he called out, "Band, a ten-hut!"

Almost seamlessly, the band stood up and moved to attention position, responding with a cry of "South!" Seeing as his members were ready, he began to rattle off commands.

"Posture check: Head!"

"Up!"

"Shoulders!"

"Down!"

"Stomach!"

"In!"

"Hands!"

"Cupped!"

"That's what she said…" Mr. Linebeck said none too quietly. Dr. Hyrule shook his head, but none of the section leaders moved or even changed expressions. Link allowed himself a smile at the bands sudden show of discipline.

"Toes!"

"Touched!"

"Eyes?"

"With pride!" The band screamed back at Link.

Nodding he pleasure, he addressed the band again. "Good. Now, at ease, we have much to discuss." The band returned to its previous seated position.

"So," he continued. "Let's get this done so you can go home. I had a few ideas I wanted to run by everyone so we make band camp a more interesting kind of hellhole. Perhaps even a little more tolerable. I think we should have a few theme days, like last year's short-shorts day. There were a few cheers, some whispering, and plenty of horrified looks at the mention of last year's short-shorts day. The previous year's drum majors had implemented that particular tradition rather well last year. Because it was impossible not to look at the drum majors, since you had to watch them for the conducting. It hadn't been too hard for Link, because he watched Veran for the beat. Midna, however, was more scarred than anyone else, because she got a too-close-for-comfort view of Onox's pasty-white legs.

"Hooray for short-shorts day!" cried Darmani. Last year, he had participated as well in the odd clothing festivities, showing of a pair of strikingly white legs for someone with such a dark complexion.

Ganondorf wiggled his eyebrows at Zelda. "Looking forward to it!" When her dad wasn't looking, she flipped him the bird.

"What else did you have in mind?" Nabooru's voice cut through the murmuring. The other conversations seized.

"I thought a day of team-building exercises might be good for teaching us to get along. Some of us," he nodded to Ganondorf, "could use some examples of how to behave around people."

Ganondorf scowled, but the rest of the band giggled. Nabooru shot Link a look that clearly told him that he was now in her good books. _Having the color guard's loyalty will definitely make this season easier,_ he thought absently.

"Anyway, it'll help mix things up a little. I bet it would even help with making sure your section can work together. Objections?" Not one hand was raised. Not even Ganondorf's.

Mr. Linebeck raised his hand after the pause. "I've got an idea for getting everyone cooled off on Thursday, since it's supposed to be so hot and all…" He gave a crooked smile. "But you'll have to trust me on this one, because I want to surprise you all." The grin widened, and Link felt a shiver run up his spine. The last time Linebeck grinned like that, real cannons were fired during their performance of the 1812 Overture.

Sighing, Link replied, "Very well, but I have to say that this needs to be safe, Mr. Linebeck." Dr. Hyrule, however, was mentally sweating. Linebeck's ideas usually meant significant amounts of paperwork later.

The rest of the proposed ideas were sorted out in a similar fashion, hashing out the details and planning dates. By the time they were finished, they had scheduled a prank on the football team, a silly-string fight, several water gun fights, and an IHOP run. Just to name a few. Band camp was certainly going to be interesting this year…

**And that's the end of the first chapter! Be sure to review, and any helpful criticism would be appreciated. Also, I'm taking applications for OC's to help fill out the band. Read the previous chapter to get an example of what I need. Thank you for reading!**

**Coming up next, a trial of the Drum Majors! Can Midna, Farore, Din, and Nayru get along?**


	4. Drum Majors

**Thank you for all the comments and encouragement thus far, it's really pushing me to write faster. The Well of Ideas hasn't run dry yet, so expect some reasonably quick updates.**

**Also, thank you for any and all OC's you have sent me so far. I'm looking for more, and there's plenty of time left, since my early chapters will be largely, if not completely, LoZ characters.**

**I do not own LoZ, because it would be different and probably be less impressive than what is currently is. If it was mine, Link definitely would have found Navi at the end of Majora's Mask.**

As the meeting adjourned, the section leaders returned to their cars, with varying destinations. Macau and Darmani muttered something about Taco Bell and drove off in Macau's Lincoln Continental. Mr. Linebeck got in his little Toyota Prius and left, silent as a ninja in his hybrid car. The remaining seniors (Darunia, Impa, Nabooru, and Zant) piled into Darunia's red Ford Freestyle and left, although less silently. Darunia couldn't resist showing off his new stereo and rolled down his windows, blasting Metallica out to anyone within a 5-mile radius. Dr. Hyrule and Zelda took off in his Fusion, probably to go home. Ilia and Ruto grabbed Saria by the arms and practically dragged her along as they decided to go to the local gas station for lunch. That just left the drum majors, who were asked to stay, and Ralph, who decided to stay with Nayru and could not be budged on the matter.

Din, Nayru, and Farore stood at strict attention in the presence of a now standing Link. Midna lounged in comparison, already knowing what was coming. She yawned and stretched back, much to the surprise of Din, who was particularly nervous looking.

"What did you need, sir?" she addressed him formally.

"Why so serious suddenly? Sit down, please, all of you." Link sat on the ground to demonstrate. "I won't bite."

"Probably…" Midna snorted. Link gave her the _oh, come on!_ Look before returning his attention to his now very confused junior drum majors.

"I just wanted to have a casual chat about what you will probably be actually doing during marching season. No doubt, Dr. Hyrule has given you all a brief idea about conducting, leadership, and the like. I'm sorry to say, you're jobs will be more like fetching whatever he forgot, carrying around Dr. Beat, and correcting spacing where we need to. All in all, you're essential the band director's bitch."

"The good news," Midna continued for Link, "is that you've got three of you doing the work instead of just two, so you shouldn't be nearly as swamped as we were last year. Having said that, you're still working a very inglorious job, but we expect you to do it well. Cool?"

"Cool!" Farore said before she could stop herself. Din and Nayru looked at her. "I mean, uh, as you wish, sir! No, I mean ma'am…"

Link and Midna burst out laughing at the same time. "Rule #1," Link finally got out. "There is no need to be formal with your drum majors. Just friendly and respectful. You've worked hard to get here, so you've earned some breathing room. So, seriously," Link looked each girl in the eye. "Just call us Link and Midna; it's not a big deal. Now, on to the most important matter at hand." Midna looked at Link in surprise. She had no idea what he was talking about.

"The four of you are going to try out one of the team building exercises that I came up with. Yes, even you, Midna." Link told her before she could object. "It's simple. I've got four wooden boxes, each one smaller than the previous. You have to balance on the box for 15 seconds before you can progress to a smaller box. Questions?"

"Yeah…" Din muttered. "How small are we talking?" To which, Link just grinned. And not the nice kind of grin, either.

"You'll see!" He laughed.

About an hour later….

"Hold steady!" Din called as she, Nayru, Farore, and Midna attempted for the 12th time to balance themselves on an 18"x18"x6" box. It was the last box, and the only one so far to prove truly difficult for the sweaty and irritated drum majors. On the 5th second, they managed to fall in a pile on top of a very pissed Din. She blew a lock of her deep red hair out of her face and muttered something about someone being so heavy.

"Wouldn't that be you, seeing as we fell on top of you?" griped an almost equally annoyed Midna. Link was standing off to the side, in the shade of the school's enormous oak tree. He sighed, trying not to smile at the comical nature of the crash. The fight wasn't going to get them a break anytime soon. Both Midna and Din were too stubborn to quit, and neither of them would let Nayru or Farore out of this.

"Maybe we should let someone else lead for a while, what do you think, Din?" Link called out to her. "Let's get some fresh ideas."

Still at the bottom of the pile, Din sighed. "That would be fine with me, sir. Can I get up now? I think I might have broken something."

"I doubt it, but I'm sure it hurts plenty," Link replied, ignoring the sir comment. "Nayru, it's your turn. Show us what you've got."

Nayru looked startled for a moment, but regained her serene gaze after just a few seconds. She nodded and turned to the girl drum majors.

"Let's get this done, shall we? Any ideas?"

"I've got one…" Farore said timidly.

Din snorted. "I thought NAYRU was supposed to be leading."

Link intervened. "Part of being a good leader is being open to new ideas that may be beneficial. And besides, it can't hurt to try, right?" Nayru nodded and brought her full attention to Farore. "Go on," she encouraged Farore.

Farore stood up a little straighter, and then spoke. "I think that we should lean away from each other, balancing one foot each on the board. That way, we don't have to worry about stepping on each other and we can adjust appropriately."

Nayru smiled, and even Din gave a grudging nod. Midna said, "Let's give it a shot. I'm hungry and definitely ready to get out of here." All the girls nodded to that, and set themselves up for what Farore had explained. They locked wrists, leaned back, and held on for all they were worth.

"Slipping!" cried Nayru, trying to readjust her grip on Midna. Midna gripped tighter, but the sweat was sliding them apart, farther and farther.

"Just a few more seconds!" Link called. "Hold on!"

5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

"Time!" Link yelled at the girls. In a happy gasp, Midna let go of a very surprised Nayru. Both of them fell to the ground, and Midna laughed happily as she rolled down the hill towards Link. Din and Farore also let go and let themselves fall to the ground and down the hill.

"Alright, ladies, you're all free to go now," Link laughed as Midna stood up and tried to brush all the grass out of her hair and clothes. She failed miserably. The junior drum majors all took off for their cars, leaving Link and Midna alone.

Plucking a piece of grass out of Midna's fiery hair, Link told her, "Good job out there today, not totally losing it with those girls. I probably wouldn't have done so well."

Midna gave him her cheeky smile. "Since when were you into flattery?"

Link returned the smile with one of his own. "Since it became legal to talk nicely to your girlfriend. Haven't you heard that's legal now?"

Midna yawned and stretched, causing her shirt to slip above her naval. Link stared silently at her tattoos, thing green lines that covered most of her body. Until, of course, he got a slight smack to the back of the head.

"It may not be illegal, but it's still rude to stare, Mr. Chivalry."

"Even at your girlfriend?"

"Especially at your girlfriend."

"Damn…" Link whined in mock annoyance. Midna punched him playfully in the arm before giving him a kiss on the cheek and gave him a more sincere smile.

"See you this afternoon?" she asked him.

"Definitely. I'm gonna catch a nap between now and then, so I'll be here." Link gave a slight yawn to emphasize his point.

Midna kissed him once more on his other cheek before bidding him goodbye. Link watched Midna leave, sighing wistfully and lying back on the cool grass. He closed his eyes and fell asleep quickly, briefly pondering where all the lines of Midna's tattoos ended up.

**Well, there's that! I hope that's more of what you were looking for. Please review some more, and I'm still in need of more OC's, so send 'em in! I've only got one so far, courtesy of DreamsComeFromtheHeart. And on an entirely separate note… ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK! GO KU!**


	5. Hyper Twins and Bullies

**Me: Thank you for all the kind reviews thus far! I have decided I'm going to try for at least 1 chapter every couple of days. I'm writing like crazy before the writer's block sets in again. I'm still looking for OC's, so keep them coming!**

**Now for the usual legal stuff before the chapter: I do not own LoZ, because if it were mine, I would have let Groose have Zelda at the end of Skyward Sword. Nice catch there, man.**

**Groose: Oh, hells yes! *Fist pump***

**Me: Now, on to the story!**

Link was rudely awakened by something… no, someone leaping on to him. Said someone giggled as he slowly came to, moaning. Sucking back in the air he had just lost, he opened his eyes to see a flash of red hair not far from his face. Midna? No, she was too small to be Midna. She giggled again. Definitely not Midna.

"Hi, Uncle Grasshopper!" Romani sang. "Wakey, wakey!"

Link gently nudged the extremely hyper Romani off of him so he could sit up. "Hey, Romani. What time is it?" He yawned loudly, directly into her face. She recoiled, grimacing.

"Nice morning breath, Link," Romani's twin sister, Malon, told him. "It's just after twelve. Cremia dropped us off early so she could go to work." She seemed pretty pepped up as well. Why are all freshmen so damn cheerful? Link thought wearily, standing up.

"Where's she working now, anyway? I haven't seen her since graduation last year." Link asked the twins. Romani made a face.

"She's driving a delivery truck out to Columbia most days, sometimes all the way out to St. Louis."

"Ouch. That's totally rough," Link winced, trying to imagine eight hours alone in a truck. He couldn't sit still that long, it would have killed him.

"So, anyway," Romani tried to change the subject. "Why don't you show us how the marching commands go again? I want to be totally ahead of everyone else!"

"Yeah!" Malon joined in. "That would totally give us an edge against everyone else!"

Sighing, Link stood up and stretched. "Alright, but I'm not going easy on you, understood? If I'm going to teach you, you're going to have to be the best so you can be good examples. Understood?"

"Got it!" The twins said in unison, grinning at their small victory over the exhausted Link.

Link assumed the 'ready' position and held his imaginary instrument (out of habit, it was a flute) with two hands clasped at his belt line. Romani and Malon copied the movement, but Link corrected them immediately.

"Romani, that's not how you hold a saxophone. Show me how you would hold a sax." She obliged, holding it at approximately chest height. "Better."

"Malon, you're playing snare. You can't put your hands there, so just put them at your sides." Malon also complied.

As Link was looking them over for errors in posture, he was pleasantly surprised to realize he could find none. "Malon, Romani, keep your eyes forward. You don't stare at the drum major unless he's conducting." Both of the twins hastily averted their eyes, but both broke their perfect concentration at the sign of the first real distraction. A very cheerful, pleasant distraction, as it was though.

"Hello, girls!" Saria called as she jogged up to them. Romani instantly broke rank to give Saria a hug, but Malon stayed where she was.

"You're supposed to still be at attention, Romani!" Malon hissed at her sister. Link simply chuckled.

"Good call, Malon, but it's okay this time. At ease." Malon sighed in relief and hugged Saria too.

In a town as small as theirs, everyone knew everyone, which meant that not everybody coming to band camp was going to be easy to deal with. Speaking of which…

"Saria, your stalker is here," Link grinned as Saria's expression changed to one of tired annoyance. She turned around, trying to fake a tired smile.

"Hey, Saria!" Mido called from his car, a slick black SUV. Faint jazz music could be heard from the top-dollar stereo inside.

Saria waved halfheartedly, but if Mido noticed, he said nothing. He parked, stretched, and swaggered over to the group. And like ever good bully, he started right in on the freshmen.

"These are the new freshmen, hm?" He inspected them closely, paying especially close attention to their red hair. "Not much to look at, huh?" He raised his eyebrows at Saria.

"Careful, Mido," Link warned. "Those are Cremia's sisters."

Romani arched an eyebrow. "You remember her, don't you?"

Malon chuckled. "How could he forget? Hey Mido, how's your face? Still red?"

Mido unconsciously touched the place where Cremia had given him a hard slap last year for his attempted advances. "Keep in mind with whom you've just made enemies with," he growled.

And, not even saying goodbye to Saria, he turned his back and left in an attempt to preserve what little dignity he could. Saria released a pent up breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding.

"I hate that guy," remarked Romani, glaring daggers at his retreating back. Link sighed.

"It'd be easier to hate him if he wasn't such a good player…"

"He's a tool!" Malon declared. Saria, Link, and Romani burst out laughing.

"Indeed," Link agreed. "But he's a very useful tool." Saria shrugged, but the smile didn't fade.

"But why is he even here? It's freshman day, not camp," Romani asked. Link just shrugged.

"Probably to talk to Dr. Hyrule whenever he arrives. He's usually got some petition for him or Dr. Tree."

Dr. Tree or "The Great Deku Tree," as he was nicknamed, was the school principle and a devout nature lover. Mido was constantly annoying him, but Dr. Tree was a very patient, solid man, who would never show anger toward his students if possible. As a result, Mido bothered him because he never got the harsh rejection he deserved.

"Or just to scare freshmen," Malon made a face.

"Well, good luck to him," Link said. "It looks like the two of you will give him plenty of hell!" They shared one last laugh at that as the rest of the 9th grade class arrived.

**Me: Heh, no sympathy for Mido. Asshole.**

**Mido: But I'm The Great Deku Tree's favorite! How could you say I annoy him! Take down this crap right now!**

***Groose runs in wildly, chasing a very annoyed looking Zelda***

**Groose: But he said I can have you! He promised!**

**Me: *Facepalm* Dammit Groose, I said "If" I owned LoZ. "IF." And besides, you're not even in this fic yet!**

**Groose: *Defeated* Meh…**

**Me: ANYWAY…thanks for reading! Encouragement=faster updates, so review please. And because you want to read quality, like any good reader, tell me when I'm wrong, okay? Any reviews are appreciated. So are OC's, for that matter. Thanks to DreamsComeFromtheHeart and Petals in the Breeze for lending me their OC's, I'm working on the first chapter they are mentioned in, so rest assured, they will have a place if I have to make one up for them.**

**Also, a sincere thank you to DreamsComeFromtheHeart for reading over my story, and making the necessary corrections and adding some variety. You're amazing **


	6. Freshman Day

**Thanks for the continued support of my regular visitors, and the requests to work faster, because, believe me, I love procrastination. If I could procrastinate on hunger, I would.**

**Link: No you wouldn't. You love food too much for that.**

**Midna: You're kinda like Gluttony from FMA. Just not quite as fat.**

**Me: Not QUITE?**

**Link: Anyway, Cyrus Windfall does not own LoZ, or any of its characters. If he were, the canon pairings would be significantly different and I'd be a busy father, the husband of just about every girl in the history of LoZ.**

This has got to be the strangest class of freshman yet, Link thought to himself as he surveyed the small group of ninth graders. The hairstyles ranged from liver spikes to bowl cuts, mullets to shiny shaved heads, and all kinds of oddities he didn't have names for. More than a few were not natural colors.

The clothing also reflected how little prepared they were. One wore all black, with chains and buckles hanging everywhere. One girl wore a tube top and ridiculously short shorts. She's going to end up with some interesting sunburns, Link thought as he grimaced. He hoped her section leader would set her straight.

The good news was that they all looked eager. True, some looked scared enough to piss themselves, but they all had that look that said they were determined. They were ready to show the world why PHS was one of the top high school bands in the country.

Midna casually strolled up to Link, taking his hand in hers. "Quite an interesting mix this year, huh?"

Link nodded mutely, glad for her company. To be totally honest, he was scared shitless that he'd screw this up. He had to be commanding but friendly, strict yet gentle, and driven but flexible. Sometimes, being a drum major seriously sucked.

Midna squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Link took a deep breath. With the thought of no going back now, he knew it was time to make his move. The freshmen were already being seated by their section leaders. As they grew quiet, he stepped forward, deciding that it was best to start with the firmer approach.

"Good morning, class of 2015," Link began. "I'm Link, your senior drum major for this year. These are my assistants…" He pointed to Midna, Din, Farore, and Nayru, naming them as he went. "You will answer to them as you would answer to the directors. Is that clear?"

They all nodded, except for one boy in the trombone section, who Link immediately made a mental note of. This one is going to be smart-ass.

"So we don't have to respect you?" the boy asked. Somewhere across the room, a girl snickered.

Link shrugged. "I'll leave that one up to you. It really just depends on how many extra hours you want to put into marching practice. Alone." He let that sink in. The boy paled. "I'm not here to be your friend. I'm here to be the jerk that gets the work done, understand?" The boy nodded quickly as Link grinned. "Having said that, I'd prefer to be a friend, too. No one likes extra drill. It's a waste of our time, too. Any other dumb questions? It's your best chance to get them out of your system."

The freshmen began to mutter to each other. Finally, one brave girl from the clarinet section asked, "What instrument do you play?"

"Flute," he replied, realizing what was about to happen as "Flutes for the win!" sounded. More cheers followed, each section wanting to prove their loyalty and superiority. And if it wasn't his job to retain order, he would have joined in, too. As it was, he simply raised his hands for silence, and he got it. The sudden shift of respect towards him was a little startling. "Although flutes are indeed the best instrument…" He began, earning another chorus of boos from the other sections.

"Anyway," Midna interrupted his rant, "we just wanted to tell you who we are before we go outside and show you how it's done. Any SERIOUS questions?" No one said a word, making Midna smile toothily at the ninth graders. It looked suspiciously like a shark to the already frightened freshmen. "Good! Now get out to the practice field, and we'll meet you out there shortly. Make sure you're all wearing good shoes."

"What if we don't have any shoes?" the girl in the tube top asked, as she happened to be wearing flip flops.

Midna shrugged, her smile becoming even more predatory. "Well, I hope you remember on Monday, for your sake."

That poor, poor freshman…

Two hours later, the freshman class of 2015 shuffled its way back into the air-conditioned band room. The girl in the tube top, a clarinet named Michelle, had blisters from turning sharp angles in her flip flops. The cheeky trombone, Mathias, leaned against the wall, sweat-drenched and looking a little sick from dehydration.

By comparison, the section leaders practically glowed with health. Although they too were glistening with sweat, they appeared to be hydrated and barely out of breath. Most were hard at work, reassuring their sections.

Finally, Link cleared his throat for silence, once again marveling at how much respect he now commanded. Amazing what a little threatening and two hours of drill can do.

"Good work out there today, band," he informed them. There were a few weak cheers from the ones who had found water. "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that that was the first of many long, hot rehearsals. Some will be even longer and hotter than this one." A collective groan ripped through the band, some of the section leaders sounding upset along with the freshmen. Link smiled.

"You haven't even heard the good news yet. The good news is that there will be actual breaks during those rehearsals. Water will be provided as long as we have it, but if you want extra, bring your own, alright? You can carry it as you're marching." Finally the group found something to cheer for, making Link laugh.

"Alright, be sure to wear the appropriate clothing next time! See you on Monday!" The band gave a final cheer and rushed home as quickly as they could. More than one freshman and most of the section leaders ended up taking their first nap in a long time. They would need it for what was to come in the next week.

**Woo! Another chapter for all you impatient people. This one is a little shorter, but the next few should be longer. The next one will be, at least. Thank you to my fine editor, DreamsComeFromtheHeart, who is an excellent writer herself. You should be sure to check out her works, especially It's Just High School, Right?. It's been recently updated.**

**Your OC's are coming, don't worry, but I still could use more. Message me or leave them in reviews, please!**


	7. You got me WHAT for my Birthday?

**Thanks for all the reviews I've been getting! They are much appreciated and keep me going. I'm really sorry I took so long on this chapter, but between the ACT and Prom, I've been busy.**

**Special thanks go out to Petals in the Breeze for noticing my earlier failures, and to DreamsComeFromtheHeart for once again editing for me. If this story doesn't do it for you, be sure to check out theirs. Heck, check 'em out anyway.**

His thoughts wandering, Link climbed into his Impala and turned the key. Why was he going to IHOP again?

Oh, because Midna asked him to come. Did he need another reason?

(Texting)

Midna: Hey, come meet me at IHOP. I've got something for u.

Link: Uh, sure. What do u have for me?

M: U'll see :) Make sure you bring some money. And an appetite, ur going to need both.

L: Alrite…see u around 5.

M: K

(Story)

Link knew well enough by now that Midna always had an ulterior motive. But for all his brains, his 3.8 GPA, and his 120 IQ… he couldn't figure what she was up to. The last surprise she had thrown his way ended up with a three week road trip. As pleasant as three weeks with his girlfriend sounded, he couldn't afford a break right now, and neither could she.

As he made the left turn into IHOP, he took note of the other cars parked. Midna's Corvette was parked near the door, but Link narrowed his eyes when he caught sight of another car he recognized: a Ford Freestyle, hiding not-so-well in the corner of the lot. And then on the other side of the lot, a tan Continental. Grinning, he parked and strolled confidently into the IHOP.

Midna greeted him at the door, a cheerful but slightly cheeky smile on her face, as if she knew something he didn't.

"Miss me?" she asked.

Link shrugged, earning him a punch in the arm. He returned her cheeky smile. "I'll leave that answer up to you. What do you think?"

"I think you're a bad liar, Link," she informed him, taking his hand. "Let's get some dinner, I'm starving!"

"Where's this surprise you promised me?" Link asked as Midna pulled him towards the table. Midna turned to him and raised her eyebrows.

"What, I'm not a good enough surprise for you?" She leaned her elbows on the table and rested chin on her hands.

Link just laughed. "Good, yes. Surprising, not exactly. And besides, I just saw some cars I recognized outside. They looked suspiciously like…"

"SURPRISE!" Link turned toward the racket only to get a party popper to the face. Zant grinned wickedly, holding a spent popper in his left hand.

"Whoops!" Zant laughed, wiping some confetti out of Link's hair. Link glared at Zant for a moment, leaving him to think he'd gone too far.

That is, until Link grinned and burst out laughing.

"Goddesses, I forgot about my birthday! I've been so busy lately…"

"Sleeping, no doubt," Zelda interjected.

"…That I'd totally forgotten," Link stopped. "Hey! I work hard, too…"

"…In bed…" muttered Macau.

Link and Midna blushed a deep shade of red. You probably could have toasted marshmallows on Midna's cheeks.

"Oh, but that's impossible," Zant said. "Midna is a prude, so that'll never…"

"Can we please not talk about my sex life, or lack thereof?" Link interrupted. Midna was quick to agree, her face almost the same color as her hair.

Tables were quickly moved together to form one long table that stretched all the way across the aisle and into the booth on the opposite side of the restaurant. Even then, it barely managed to hold all sixteen of them. As soon as they ordered, Link set to work, preparing a game for his friends.

He swallowed a single packet of sugar and filled it up with salt. Then, he opened 15 more packets of sugar and passed them out to his party "guests."

"What're these for?" Macau asked.

Ruto knew immediately, and grinned evilly. Sometimes, it paid to be a theatre kid. "One of these has salt, doesn't it?"

It was Links turn to grin. "It's a little tradition we theatre kids have. Only one of you got the salt. On the count of three, we're going to see who got the salt. One…"

Everyone lifted their packets like goblets.

"Two…"

They brought the packets to their lips. Saria started sweating, afraid that she would get the salt.

"Cheers…three!"

The result was immediate.

Fifteen happy band geeks sighed in relief. One very unhappy Nayru spat up salt all over her plate. The fifteen cheered and laughed.

Soon, the food was delivered and they all dug in with gusto. No one was surprised to see that Darunia finished first. When they all had eaten for a few minutes, Link decided it was okay to ask if this was a party with presents or not. Most of his guests grinned. Midna shook her head. She obviously knew that something interesting was about to happen.

Nabooru was first. She passed him a lottery ticket… from last week. When Link raised his eyebrow, she just said, "It's not like I can buy them either. I'm still seventeen. Happy birthday, anyway."

The rest of the gifts were plain. A couple of gift cards, more useless lottery tickets, and some cigarettes he'd probably just give to Cyrus later. And then, Macau, Darmani, and Zant grinned at each other as Darmani reached into his pocket.

"We've taken the liberty of educating our freshmen on the ways of band," Darmani began. "So, we decided to educate our young friend, Link, in the ways of the world." Pausing for emphasis, he took a breath and plopped a card on the table. Everyone stared, and Ruto, Saria, and Ilia each blushed a deep red.

"We've decided to buy you a subscription to one of the greatest magazines in male entertainment: the Playboy."

All the guys burst into cheers and laughter. Midna shook her head, barely concealing her amused smile. Link, however, had turned a shade of red darker than Midna's hair. The hooting and hollering grew so loud, the waitress had to come over and ask them to quiet down. They finished eating rather quietly after that, the silence only broken occasionally by the snickering and pointing at the card still lying on the table, or Link's barely faded blush.

Everyone went their separate ways after that, bidding each other goodnight. That once again left Midna and Link alone.

Smiling playfully, Link turned to Midna. "So, what did YOU get me for my birthday?"

"You get to enjoy my company, of course," she grinned. "It takes a lot of my precious time, you know, dealing with you every day." Link staggered back as if he had been shot.

"O, cruel maiden! Why dost thou act so? Have I, perchance, offended thee?" He said in a cheesy British accent.

Midna just laughed and replied, in an equally unconvincing accent, "My good sir, thou hath done nothing of the sort. I merely take pleasure in teasing you so. Thou art incredibly amusing when offended!"

Link huffed exaggeratedly and took a step back towards Midna. "Perhaps I should keep my face straight and forbid any emotion from slipping through?"

"I bet you can't keep this one away," Midna closed the distance, leaned in, and kissed Link. It was just a light peck on the lips, but the result was immediate. Link's face, previously a mask of neutrality, cracked into a warm, happy smile.

Midna giggled. "Bye, Link!" Midna backed up, turned around, and walked back to her car. Link watched her go, his smile never wavering. He caught himself once again drawn to her green line tattoos. Then he too turned back to his car, content for the first time in ages.

** Thanks for reading! I appreciate all the reviews, and I'll try really hard to get the next chapter up before I get distracted by AP testing. **


	8. First Day

** I'm really sorry this took so long to put up. My summer has left me with little free time at home, and I was rarely home to begin with. So, as an apology and an end of summer present, I'm going to make this a combined chapter of several chapters work. This is all I have written thus far, so fresh material may take awhile after this, but bear with me! School will be starting soon, and I'll have lots of time for writing. :)**

** As always, thanks to my fabulous beta and never-ending source of amusement, DreamscomefromtheHeart. She keeps my work from falling apart and being too vague.**

** As always, I don't own Zelda, but if I did, there would be significantly more fanservice. And there would be a sequel to Twilight Princess involving Midna and Link's children.**

The first day of summer band camp started innocently enough. The section leaders arrived early to set up for an inside music rehearsal, then went outside to greet their sections. The freshmen were earliest, afraid of being late for the first day of camp. They chatted nervously with each other, or their section leaders if they were feeling bold. The others quickly arrived soon after to swell the ranks of the band to a healthy two hundred people. Slowly, the crowd drifted onto the stage to set up for music rehearsal. Link and the drum majors strolled through the chaos to the front of the stage, where they joined the directors. Mr. Linebeck was smiling brightly, a sure sign that something odd was about to occur.

He passed out folders to each of the section leaders, his grin widening as they reacted to the title of the music. Saria and Ruto looked confused. Darmani and Macau shrugged and turned to their sections to pass it out. Ganondorf and Zant smiled, although not as wide as Mr. Linebeck. Ralph and Darunia let out hearty chuckles. And when Impa, Nabooru, and Ilia got their packets, they looked up and in unison said, "You've got to be kidding." Linebeck just laughed and told them to pass out their music/routine (for Nabooru's guard girls).

A murmur ran through the band as the music was passed out. The geekier members of the band cheered elatedly. Most were neutral. And a few were downright insulted. Nabooru, the guard captain, actually challenged the idea.

"This is insulting! Whose childish idea was this?"

"Read the sheet, Nabooru," Ganondorf told her. His cronies in the trumpet section snickered.

Across the top of her sheet, in giant, bold lettering, Nabooru read aloud:

**Arranged for band by Jonathan Linebeck**

Trying to preserve a little dignity, she got her section and walked outside, not even glancing back at Ganondorf. Seeing that he wasn't going to get the reaction wanted, Ganondorf turned back to his music stand and scowled.

Link took the podium as soon as everyone was seated, save for the sousaphones and drum line.

"Alright, everyone chill out," he called out. When nobody except the front row of flutes seemed to hear him, he roared, "QUIET DOWN!"

This time, everyone seemed to hear him.

"Alright, let's get this started," Link glanced over the band. Zant raised his hand. "Yes, Zant?"

"Can we make more room for my section? Jesse just hit one of the frumpets in the head with his slide."

"It's not a frumpet!" Luke Ravenscraft shouted. "It's a mellophone!"

"Anyway," Link interrupted before Zant could make his retort. "Trombones, scoot back a little bit. Sousaphones, spread out a little so they can move. That's it. All right! Moving on, look at your music, and let's have a quick read."

Link counted off mentally, and began to conduct their new show. They managed to stay together, but most missed their accidentals, and it seemed as if the trumpets were reading the wrong key. Cutting them off, he spoke up, "Trumpets, what key are you in?"

"C!" one of the eager freshmen announced. Link mentally translated to concert Bb.

"So why am I hearing Bb's?" The trumpets looked at each other for a moment before pointing fingers at each other. Sighing quietly, he told them, "I don't care whose fault it was, just fix it so we can move on, okay?"

Sighing heavier, he counted off and tried again, going until he couldn't hold them together anymore. Apparently, they couldn't have a real read-through without some major adjustments.

"Tubas, count your rests, please. You don't come in for another twelve measures. You come in at…" Link noticed some movement out of the corner of his eye. "Yes, Cyrus?"

A curly-haired sousaphone layer stepped forward. "I think there's something in my bell. Can you check it out for me?"

Trying to keep the irritation from his face, Link motioned Cyrus forward. _Might as well, since I'm up here, _Link thought. Cyrus stepped forward and Link stuck his head into the bell.

Big mistake.

"I don't see any-" Link began before _BOOOOOM!_ Cyrus blasted out a low note. Purple and black confetti, the school colors, flew out of the bell where Link wasn't blocking its escape. The entire band roared with laughter. Slowly, Link pulled his face away from the bell, glaring at the grinning Cyrus. The band grew quiet, but if Cyrus was intimidated the hard look he was getting, he wasn't showing any signs.

"Happy late birthday, Link!" He laughed. He then reached into his back pocket and pulled out a pair of concert tickets. "I figured you would enjoy these." Link took them gingerly, as if they might explode into confetti, too. His eyes widened as he caught the name of the headliner printed across the top.

"Puddle of Mudd?! How did you get these?" Link turned to Cyrus, wide-eyed.

"I followed Shinedown on tour this summer. When they were in town, the concert arena manager gave them to me," Cyrus shrugged. "Said I should work as a professional techie. I figured you'd have more fun than me, seeing they're the hometown band and all."

Link was speechless, his jaw hanging open. _Screw the lottery; I've got concert tickets! _He thought. _I better not tell Nabooru that._

"Th- thanks," Link managed to get out. Cyrus just patted him on the shoulder.

"No problem, bro," he returned, casually blowing the rest of the confetti out of his bell. "That's the last of it, back to work." Cyrus returned to his seat.

It was a struggle to regain control after that, but they made it through the rest of the tune. Then came the best part.

Marching outside.

_ Oh, shit,_ Link thought as he stepped outside into the heat. All around him, about 200 hundred other marchers had similar thoughts.

The good news: it was only 95 degrees outside today.

The bad news: that's still 95 freaking degrees!

The other bad news: the practice field is actually just an asphalt parking lot with lines and dots for markers.

Freshmen and experienced marchers alike groaned at the thought of marching in that heat and humidity that came with living in Missouri in August. Despite that, Link tried to be upbeat.

"Come on, people, let's go! The faster we get out there, the faster we go back inside! We've only got five sets to learn today, so grab your drill books and get out there!"

"Can we leave our instruments inside?" whined Abbey, a junior flautist.

"Absolutely," Link replied, then turned and announced to the whole band, "Leave the instruments inside, and don't forget to grab a water bottle! I'll see you all outside ready to go in ten!"

Zant

Zant sighed, tired again after a long night of working at the local metal shop.

"I don't get paid nearly enough for that shit," he muttered. Working was one thing, but taking verbal abuse from his coworkers was another. So what if he was pale? He worked in a fucking cave, for Hylia's sake! Besides, he'd be a healthy tan in a few days, thanks to band camp.

"Jesse, where are your marching shoes?" At 6'2", Jesse was easily the largest freshman Zant had ever seen. Zant had to crane his neck to look up at the large boy. But from what he could tell, Zant thought he was kind of like a teddy bear: big and soft.

"I left them at home…" Jesse tried to look down at his feet, but Zant was in the way so he gazed at the ceiling instead. Zant just sighed.

"Go borrow one of the spare pairs, then. I don't want you getting blisters this early in the week."

"R- right. Thanks!" Jesse hurried off to get the shoes. Zant just frowned. He got the impression that his section members were seriously afraid of him. It probably had something to do with his yellow eyes and slightly sharp teeth. Not that he could help it.

This morning had been one little problem after another; unruly section members, scared freshmen, Jesse hitting Luke with his slide, etc. Some days were just like that, but if the rest of camp went like this morning, there would be trouble. Despite his "confidence" he had been displaying today, he wasn't really cut out for this whole leadership thing. Last year's section leader, Galen, had been quiet yet inspiring. He worked his ass off, in public and behind the scenes. People like him and Midna were huge inspirations to him.

Ah, Midna.

His best friend, crush, inspiration, and everything he aspired to be. She was a musician, popular, talented, and a fairly good leader. He was mostly average, unpopular, and bullied most of the time. Band was his only refuge from the taunts and remarks. And now, he didn't even seem to have that, mow that he was constantly watching his section. Maybe Midna could help him.

Zant sighed as he debated the wisdom of that. This was his problem, not hers. He just needed to chill out and find someone to vent to. And he knew just the person for that.

If only Nabooru would let her go for a few minutes.

Seeing that all his members had gone outside, Zant took off for the field, but Link stopped him.

"Zant, c'mere a sec. Can you do me a favor? Link had his arms full with a step-ladder and a microphone. Zant walked over somewhat grudgingly. He really needed to talk to her. "Yes, Link?"

Link looked at him for a moment. Zant squirmed under his clear blue gaze. Link must have noticed something was off, because he put a hand on a surprised Zant's shoulder. The gesture was rare enough for Zant to understand the feeling behind it. But what really surprised him was when Link told him, "I totally forgot to tell the color guard that we were getting ready to march. Could you get them for me? My hands are full. Ilia can watch your section for a couple of minutes."

Zant forced himself not to smile. "Yes, sir!" Zant turned and jogged off to find the color guard. As he turned away, he heard Farore say, "I thought I was going to do that?"

"Nope. If you want to be helpful, I'll let you carry the ladder instead."

"I'll pass."

"Did I mention that wasn't really a request? It was an order." Link turned around and handed the ladder to Farore.

Zant smiled. Link was a pretty good guy, after all.

It only took a few minutes to find the color guard. You just had to listen for the screaming of Nabooru.

Now, it wasn't fair to say that Nabooru was a slave driver. She just had high standards. _Really_ high standards. So naturally, she worked the guard extremely hard. Not everyone could handle the stress, so the dropout rate was high. Everyone who stuck with it was flawless by the end of the season, though.

Which is where Ruthie came in.

Although he'd never admit it to anyone else, he knew that she was meant to be a future captain. She was shy, but she worked hard and got things done. So long as you didn't let her go on one of her rants, at least. Her enthusiasm was contagious.

_ I could use some enthusiasm today,_ Zant thought glumly. He spotted her before she spotted him, so he hung back and watched the color guard drill. Within seconds, he had already determined who was going to drop out. Maybe the blue haired girl, too. She could barely keep up, but at least she was trying. Maybe Nabooru could talk to her.

Some of the other girls had given up completely. They had the pinched, irritated expressions of someone who was used to being good at what they did, but failing miserably at this new thing. One girl was about to throw down her flag, but Nabooru caught it, glaring at the girl.

"You know, it's never a good idea to break someone else's things. Or did your parents never teach you that?" Nabooru commented. "I don't think your parents are going to want to pay several hundred dollars just because you lost your temper, do you?"

The girls squealed in rage, stomping out the door. Zant tried not to laugh as he stepped forward. A squeal? Really?

"Having a good morning, Nabooru?" Zant put his confident façade back up as he approached her. The answer was obvious as her expression darkened.

"Sorry to be blunt, Zant, but what do you want? I'm busy."

"That good, huh?" The guard captain glared. "Sorry," Zant stepped backward. "I'm just supposed to tell you that we're learning drill outside if you'd like to join us. Link would appreciate you coming, if you can."

Nabooru turned her head back to the rest of the guard, calling out a few names, which, thankfully for Zant, included Ruthie. The girls whose names were called stepped forward.

"You all are to go out and learn the drill. The rest of us will join you when we're ready, which may be in a few minutes or a few days, at this rate." A collective groan ran through the remaining guard.

Meanwhile, Zant's heart decided it was going to make Zant's already bad day more complicated by doing that irritating little flip-flop it usually only did around Midna. And this time, it had nothing to do with Midna.

It did it for Ruthie. And as much as he told himself otherwise, the heart decided to ignore him and spite him as much as possible.

It wasn't as if she wasn't pretty. On the contrary, she was very attractive, in a pixie-ish sort of way. She was much shorter than Zant, with thick framed glasses and short, light brown hair. And though she was mostly quiet, she was equally prone to sudden bursts of enthusiasm when she hung out with the right people.

No, she wasn't unattractive at all. But she was a sophomore and he was a senior. And more importantly, they were friends. Extremely close friends, actually. _I can't afford to lose my best friend, _he told himself.

"Zant? You there?" Ruthie's voice returned him from his reverie.

"Uh, yeah?" Zant realized the other girls who had been allowed to march had already gone outside. Nabooru was looking at him, an amused smirk on her face.

"I think we should go outside. They're waiting for us." She was trying, rather unsuccessfully, to keep herself from smiling.

"R- right. Better do that." The guard giggled at him, whether because they thought he was being cute or stupid, he couldn't tell.

As he started to walk, he realized he'd left his section under Ilia's care for too long. Ryan was probably about to pull another prank that would not go over well. He could imagine what might happen if he pissed off the wrong guy. Like Ganondorf…

Suddenly, Zant was running off toward the practice field, leading a very confused Ruthie.

**So, there you are! Another chapter up after a long break. Yeah, it was too long for me, too. I missed you guys, and I hope you've all had a good summer. School will be starting any day now, good luck, and may the force be with you.**

**Link: Why did you bring Star Wars into this?**

**Me: I couldn't think of a better way to say good luck. Leave me alone, my brain is fried.**

**Link: Too much time on the marching field?**

**Me: That's what happens when you join marching band and play the heaviest instrument. You get overexposed. Sousaphones are like a big freaking sun-magnet.**

**Midna: I hear they make good lightning rods, too.**

**Me: I always knew I got the shaft somehow…**


	9. Apology

Dear Readers,

I know the delay has been horrible for some of you, but there's no use putting it off any longer. I've been searching frantically for the flash drive containing the rest of my story for months. I had it all typed out, and planned on sharing it monthly until it was over. That flash drive has gone missing, presumably stolen with a backpack that was stolen from me during a vacation trip.

I may choose to rewrite what I had finished at some point, but right now, I'm feeling seriously discouraged and writing is not something I want to put the effort into for awhile.

Again, I'm sorry for getting your hopes up, and if you really liked my story, I'm also sorry that I just became another unfinished series. Best of luck in finding another good story, I leave it to you all.

Sadly and sincerely,

Cyrus Windfall


End file.
